It's mid-April on Koh Lanta, and almost time to move on. The rainy season is drawing nearer, with afternoon storms becoming more regular and ferocious - only the temperature fails to realise it should be dropping. Yesterday was the best thunderstorm yet - as the lightning split the sky above my bungalow, the thunder crashed down and rain fell torrentially for an hour, taking half the beach with it and flooding a few roads.
I've now spent nearly 3 weeks on Koh Lanta as vet-in-residence at Time for Lime, and have managed to operate on a few animals, treat some more, confiscate a couple of ill treated ones, and looked after a baby kitten in my bungalow (currently doing a good job of climbing on the laptop keyboard). For those of a veterinary bent, read on..... otherwise skip to the next paragraph!
One cat I operated on was a resident at a high class resort further up my beach. It had 3 "tumours" on it's left side, which on closer inspection were hernias - probably from a dog bite. With a bare minimum of equipment, I guesstimated a dose of xylazine/ketamine to knock the cat out and proceeded to close up the holes - although not until I had replaced a liver lobe coming out of one hernia, and most of the mesentry (both well adhered) through another. Not something to be recommended when using an NHS single use suture kit!! I have also operated on one of the Time for Lime dogs - a painful lump on the right ribcage needed investigating. I considered rib fractures and sequestra, but dismissed the idea of a bone coming from the dog's intestines..... until I removed a 3 inch long, barbed Barracuda bone which can only have made a sharp exit via the stomach.
The high season here is grinding slowly to a halt as the tourists wither away, leaving behind empty beachfront bars and boarded up massage parlours. There is still some life in Saladan, the main town, though. Saladan is a fairly typical tourist town in Thailand, rapidly on it's way to becoming overdeveloped and losing it's charm. Travel agents and dive shops are on almost every corner, as well as an improbable number of opticians.
The opticians in Saladan are a breed apart. They only emerge from their empty shops wearing suits and sporting umbrellas (for the sun), usually to visit 7-11 and impress people with the amount of cash they have. With names like SK Optic, KT Optic and ST Optic (there are 7 in total) it's a bit difficult to tell one deserted shop from another - all specialise in cheap "genuine" frames and 2 for 1 offers. Some cynics have suggested this may be a particularly comical money laundering operation, although I prefer to imagine that the Thai business model - "if it's nice and shiny then copy it" - is more to blame.
Since arriving I have been renting a little scooter to get around between Saladan, Time for Lime and my various "house" visits. Road rules in Thailand are very flexible; driving is usually on the left side, although this does not count if you like the other side of the road better. As a scooter driver you have no rights of way whatsoever, and the onus is upon you to avoid the 4x4 doing a U-turn immediately in front of you with no warning. This happened 2 weeks ago to one of the bar girls at Time for Lime - she currently has an externally fixated tibia and her jaw wired back together. As a farang, or foreigner, the loose interpretation of the law becomes more problematic if you have an accident. If a farang is involved in a crash it is always their fault, no matter who is to blame - the reason being that if you were back in your own country in the first place the crash would not have happened.
A week or so ago I had the not-to-be-repeated experience of a tuk tuk ride with a charming and funny Thai guy called Ivory, accompanied by 2 English girls who were also staying at Time for Lime. After hopping onto his tuk tuk - think of a moped with sidecar built by a Blue Peter-inspired child - we proceeded along at a stately 12mph (with no lights) to a nearby bar, as Ivory regaled us with his plans to open a restaurant. He even went so far to specify discounts for ourselves and future families - although we struggled to decide on whether the discount applied only if we had 3 babies or if it was free for babies. Throughout our journey he kept only minimal eye contact with the road - although at 12mph we figured that injuries would be limited. It was with a sigh of relief that we made it in one piece to the bar, although a slightly sinking feeling followed as he informed us that he would wait for us all night.
Our return journey was even slower (about 8 mph)- perhaps a good thing as it appeared he hadn't seen the signs advising against drink-driving. In the process he gave us an indepth opinion of the British royal family.
"Thai people, we like Princess Diana one hundred percent," he cried gleefully.
"That's great Ivory, would you mind just looking at the road?" was my short reply.
"Thai people, we love Prince William too, one hundred percent!"
"That's amazing Ivory! I didn't realise you could get the Daily Mail in Thailand?" I replied.
"Yes yes yes! And Prince Charles, we like him not so much.... maybe eighty percent!" he shouted.
This coming from a man who lives in a country where the King is revered like no-one else - Charles was damned by faint praise. But there was worse to come.
"And that woman, who that woman, we no like that woman!" he laughed.
"Who's that Ivory...... Oh, Camilla Parker-Bowles?!" we asked.
"YES!!" he shrieked, and almost fell off the bike cackling loudly.
To help out whilst Bim, the injured waitress, gets better, I've been doing some bar and waiter work at Time for Lime. My mojito-making skills have picked up considerably, as has my ability to give opinions on dishes that I've never tasted. The restaurant here is Thai fusion, and delicious it is too. It is not, however, what typical Thai people eat. The other night as the last customers departed I strolled into the kitchen to get some food, and asked Mai, the Thai girl who does front of house, what I could have. She held up a bowl.
"This very nice. What Thai people eat." She beamed at me.
"That sounds interesting Mai - what is it?" I asked.
"Stir fried chicken insides," she replied, still smiling away.
I skipped on the giblets and stayed with the green curry.
Mai has also been very handy in translating for me (and almost everyone else). She has helped when I went to pick up cats and dogs, when I put an order in at the kitchen and no-one understands me, and when I get text messages in Thai on my new mobile. Often I'll ask her to translate what turn out to be the usual texts you get - I'm getting low on balance, there's a call promotion on, or - my own personal favourite - text this number and we'll send you a photo of a ghost. I kid you not.
Working at Time for Lime has given me a great excuse to meet more people and get to know the menagerie of animals that Junie, the owner, has collected. Along with 20 dogs and 6 cats (not including my kitten and 2 confiscated dogs today!) there is also Joey, the monkey. I'd love to tell you what kind of monkey he is but I'll just describe his character - he's a a bad tempered teenager. In the past he's has his canines removed (particularly barbaric) and then been dumped as he got bigger, older and developed attitude. Now Joey likes swimming, trying to drown dogs whilst swimming (it's long story), playing with knives, biting fingers and pinching nipples. Today he seemed desperate to climb up the inside of my board shorts - given his penchant for inflicting pain I thought better of it.
Joey goes under the knife
With the end of high season also comes the end of regular dive trips, due to lack of tourists and bigger swells. After I managed to finish my Advance Open Water certificate I went on one more dive out to Hin Deung, the furthest dive site from Koh Lanta. Hin Deung has a reputation for strong currents and large fish - in the past few days whale sharks and manta rays had been seen - both come in usually at least 6-7 metres long. There was also a rumour that a reef shark had been found dead with a couple of foot-wide bites taken out of it, raising the possibility of a tiger shark - very unusual in these waters.
Passing Koh Haa on the way back
The journey out to Hin Deung was one of anticipation, and on the first dive we planned to go 38m deep (the limit for recreational diving is 40m) to have a look for sharks. Sadly we saw little, and battled for a while against some very strong currents. The second dive was better as we encountered an enormous barracuda, but no mantas or whale sharks. As we headed back to Koh Lanta the swell had picked up considerably and we were heading directly into a strong wind. The boat was rocking all over the place as waves broke over the bow - and afterwards I found out that another bilge pump had to be set up after the first one became unable to cope with the amount of water we were taking on board. I sat in silence, mostly feeling pretty nauseous but admiring the beautiful sunset as night fell - it took us nearly twice as long to get back.
Having exhausted all the dive sites around Lanta I tried another discipline, Free Diving. Free Diving has several different forms - the one most people know involved descending on a weighted sled to an incredible depth whilst holding your breath, the using a float to take you back to the surface. Needless to say, this "No Limits" form is particularly dangerous and only suitable for crazy folk. On my course, we would try 4 different types - static apnea (holding your breath underwater), dynamic apena (swimming horizontally underwater), free immersion (descending and ascending by pulling yourself down a line) and constant weight (swimming down a line with fins).
The course started with a morning of physics, physiology and breathing exercises. It was amazing how long you could hold your breath after a little practice, but what I found most astounding is that you can make yourself black out by voluntary breath holding. Not that that would be a problem for me! In the sea that afternoon I managed a 3min20sec breath hold, and swam 40m underwater - the world records are around 10min and 240m respectively.
Over the next few days we went out to Koh Haa to try the free immersion and constant weight. The constant weight discipline relies heavily on having good technique to descend - something I struggled with. On the second day I managed to get to 23m and wouldn't have felt comfortable going much deeper. I also managed 26.7m deep on the free immersion (pulling yourself down a weighted line) - I got to the end of the line and had to return to the surface, gutted because I could have gone deeper. The fascinating thing is that below 20m the body becomes negatively buoyant because the air volume in the body is so compressed - so you just sink. If you're particularly relaxed and well trained you can sink to 130m or so and still come up breathing... although maybe a little blue. At any rate, hopefully it will make a real difference when I am snorkelling and want to have a closer look!
The 12th and 13th of April saw another clinic at Blue Planet Divers in Saladan, in conjunction with a Thai vet -Dr Narin - from Trang. The setup was very professional in equipment terms, although the bamboo operating tables were a bit unstable..... We concentrated mainly on cats, and managed to sterilise around 40, as well as doing the honours with Joey and enucleating a prolapsed eyeball in a street dog. By the second afternoon I was by myself with 4 cat spays and 2 cat castrates left, with only a modicum of xylazine and ketamine to knock them out..... as well as the madness of Songkran going on all around.
The 13th of April in Thailand is Songkran - the water festival. Meant to celebrate the end of the dry season and beginning of the new year, the entire of Thailand degenerates into a day long water fight with no quarters safe - riding a moped, eating a meal.... fortunately this did not extend as far as soaking people whilst operating! After finishing and packing up by 6pm I made my way down the main Saladan strip, replete with scrub top, stethoscope and donation box...... I was soaked within about 30 seconds.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur - possibly due to the water getting in my eyes, although the local Chang beer may have had a little to do with it. I made my flight to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia the next day, however, with only the slightest of sore heads.
I've now spent nearly 3 weeks on Koh Lanta as vet-in-residence at Time for Lime, and have managed to operate on a few animals, treat some more, confiscate a couple of ill treated ones, and looked after a baby kitten in my bungalow (currently doing a good job of climbing on the laptop keyboard). For those of a veterinary bent, read on..... otherwise skip to the next paragraph!
One cat I operated on was a resident at a high class resort further up my beach. It had 3 "tumours" on it's left side, which on closer inspection were hernias - probably from a dog bite. With a bare minimum of equipment, I guesstimated a dose of xylazine/ketamine to knock the cat out and proceeded to close up the holes - although not until I had replaced a liver lobe coming out of one hernia, and most of the mesentry (both well adhered) through another. Not something to be recommended when using an NHS single use suture kit!! I have also operated on one of the Time for Lime dogs - a painful lump on the right ribcage needed investigating. I considered rib fractures and sequestra, but dismissed the idea of a bone coming from the dog's intestines..... until I removed a 3 inch long, barbed Barracuda bone which can only have made a sharp exit via the stomach.
The high season here is grinding slowly to a halt as the tourists wither away, leaving behind empty beachfront bars and boarded up massage parlours. There is still some life in Saladan, the main town, though. Saladan is a fairly typical tourist town in Thailand, rapidly on it's way to becoming overdeveloped and losing it's charm. Travel agents and dive shops are on almost every corner, as well as an improbable number of opticians.
The opticians in Saladan are a breed apart. They only emerge from their empty shops wearing suits and sporting umbrellas (for the sun), usually to visit 7-11 and impress people with the amount of cash they have. With names like SK Optic, KT Optic and ST Optic (there are 7 in total) it's a bit difficult to tell one deserted shop from another - all specialise in cheap "genuine" frames and 2 for 1 offers. Some cynics have suggested this may be a particularly comical money laundering operation, although I prefer to imagine that the Thai business model - "if it's nice and shiny then copy it" - is more to blame.
Since arriving I have been renting a little scooter to get around between Saladan, Time for Lime and my various "house" visits. Road rules in Thailand are very flexible; driving is usually on the left side, although this does not count if you like the other side of the road better. As a scooter driver you have no rights of way whatsoever, and the onus is upon you to avoid the 4x4 doing a U-turn immediately in front of you with no warning. This happened 2 weeks ago to one of the bar girls at Time for Lime - she currently has an externally fixated tibia and her jaw wired back together. As a farang, or foreigner, the loose interpretation of the law becomes more problematic if you have an accident. If a farang is involved in a crash it is always their fault, no matter who is to blame - the reason being that if you were back in your own country in the first place the crash would not have happened.
A week or so ago I had the not-to-be-repeated experience of a tuk tuk ride with a charming and funny Thai guy called Ivory, accompanied by 2 English girls who were also staying at Time for Lime. After hopping onto his tuk tuk - think of a moped with sidecar built by a Blue Peter-inspired child - we proceeded along at a stately 12mph (with no lights) to a nearby bar, as Ivory regaled us with his plans to open a restaurant. He even went so far to specify discounts for ourselves and future families - although we struggled to decide on whether the discount applied only if we had 3 babies or if it was free for babies. Throughout our journey he kept only minimal eye contact with the road - although at 12mph we figured that injuries would be limited. It was with a sigh of relief that we made it in one piece to the bar, although a slightly sinking feeling followed as he informed us that he would wait for us all night.
Our return journey was even slower (about 8 mph)- perhaps a good thing as it appeared he hadn't seen the signs advising against drink-driving. In the process he gave us an indepth opinion of the British royal family.
"Thai people, we like Princess Diana one hundred percent," he cried gleefully.
"That's great Ivory, would you mind just looking at the road?" was my short reply.
"Thai people, we love Prince William too, one hundred percent!"
"That's amazing Ivory! I didn't realise you could get the Daily Mail in Thailand?" I replied.
"Yes yes yes! And Prince Charles, we like him not so much.... maybe eighty percent!" he shouted.
This coming from a man who lives in a country where the King is revered like no-one else - Charles was damned by faint praise. But there was worse to come.
"And that woman, who that woman, we no like that woman!" he laughed.
"Who's that Ivory...... Oh, Camilla Parker-Bowles?!" we asked.
"YES!!" he shrieked, and almost fell off the bike cackling loudly.
To help out whilst Bim, the injured waitress, gets better, I've been doing some bar and waiter work at Time for Lime. My mojito-making skills have picked up considerably, as has my ability to give opinions on dishes that I've never tasted. The restaurant here is Thai fusion, and delicious it is too. It is not, however, what typical Thai people eat. The other night as the last customers departed I strolled into the kitchen to get some food, and asked Mai, the Thai girl who does front of house, what I could have. She held up a bowl.
"This very nice. What Thai people eat." She beamed at me.
"That sounds interesting Mai - what is it?" I asked.
"Stir fried chicken insides," she replied, still smiling away.
I skipped on the giblets and stayed with the green curry.
Mai has also been very handy in translating for me (and almost everyone else). She has helped when I went to pick up cats and dogs, when I put an order in at the kitchen and no-one understands me, and when I get text messages in Thai on my new mobile. Often I'll ask her to translate what turn out to be the usual texts you get - I'm getting low on balance, there's a call promotion on, or - my own personal favourite - text this number and we'll send you a photo of a ghost. I kid you not.
Working at Time for Lime has given me a great excuse to meet more people and get to know the menagerie of animals that Junie, the owner, has collected. Along with 20 dogs and 6 cats (not including my kitten and 2 confiscated dogs today!) there is also Joey, the monkey. I'd love to tell you what kind of monkey he is but I'll just describe his character - he's a a bad tempered teenager. In the past he's has his canines removed (particularly barbaric) and then been dumped as he got bigger, older and developed attitude. Now Joey likes swimming, trying to drown dogs whilst swimming (it's long story), playing with knives, biting fingers and pinching nipples. Today he seemed desperate to climb up the inside of my board shorts - given his penchant for inflicting pain I thought better of it.
Joey goes under the knife
With the end of high season also comes the end of regular dive trips, due to lack of tourists and bigger swells. After I managed to finish my Advance Open Water certificate I went on one more dive out to Hin Deung, the furthest dive site from Koh Lanta. Hin Deung has a reputation for strong currents and large fish - in the past few days whale sharks and manta rays had been seen - both come in usually at least 6-7 metres long. There was also a rumour that a reef shark had been found dead with a couple of foot-wide bites taken out of it, raising the possibility of a tiger shark - very unusual in these waters.
Passing Koh Haa on the way back
The journey out to Hin Deung was one of anticipation, and on the first dive we planned to go 38m deep (the limit for recreational diving is 40m) to have a look for sharks. Sadly we saw little, and battled for a while against some very strong currents. The second dive was better as we encountered an enormous barracuda, but no mantas or whale sharks. As we headed back to Koh Lanta the swell had picked up considerably and we were heading directly into a strong wind. The boat was rocking all over the place as waves broke over the bow - and afterwards I found out that another bilge pump had to be set up after the first one became unable to cope with the amount of water we were taking on board. I sat in silence, mostly feeling pretty nauseous but admiring the beautiful sunset as night fell - it took us nearly twice as long to get back.
Having exhausted all the dive sites around Lanta I tried another discipline, Free Diving. Free Diving has several different forms - the one most people know involved descending on a weighted sled to an incredible depth whilst holding your breath, the using a float to take you back to the surface. Needless to say, this "No Limits" form is particularly dangerous and only suitable for crazy folk. On my course, we would try 4 different types - static apnea (holding your breath underwater), dynamic apena (swimming horizontally underwater), free immersion (descending and ascending by pulling yourself down a line) and constant weight (swimming down a line with fins).
The course started with a morning of physics, physiology and breathing exercises. It was amazing how long you could hold your breath after a little practice, but what I found most astounding is that you can make yourself black out by voluntary breath holding. Not that that would be a problem for me! In the sea that afternoon I managed a 3min20sec breath hold, and swam 40m underwater - the world records are around 10min and 240m respectively.
Over the next few days we went out to Koh Haa to try the free immersion and constant weight. The constant weight discipline relies heavily on having good technique to descend - something I struggled with. On the second day I managed to get to 23m and wouldn't have felt comfortable going much deeper. I also managed 26.7m deep on the free immersion (pulling yourself down a weighted line) - I got to the end of the line and had to return to the surface, gutted because I could have gone deeper. The fascinating thing is that below 20m the body becomes negatively buoyant because the air volume in the body is so compressed - so you just sink. If you're particularly relaxed and well trained you can sink to 130m or so and still come up breathing... although maybe a little blue. At any rate, hopefully it will make a real difference when I am snorkelling and want to have a closer look!
The 12th and 13th of April saw another clinic at Blue Planet Divers in Saladan, in conjunction with a Thai vet -Dr Narin - from Trang. The setup was very professional in equipment terms, although the bamboo operating tables were a bit unstable..... We concentrated mainly on cats, and managed to sterilise around 40, as well as doing the honours with Joey and enucleating a prolapsed eyeball in a street dog. By the second afternoon I was by myself with 4 cat spays and 2 cat castrates left, with only a modicum of xylazine and ketamine to knock them out..... as well as the madness of Songkran going on all around.
The 13th of April in Thailand is Songkran - the water festival. Meant to celebrate the end of the dry season and beginning of the new year, the entire of Thailand degenerates into a day long water fight with no quarters safe - riding a moped, eating a meal.... fortunately this did not extend as far as soaking people whilst operating! After finishing and packing up by 6pm I made my way down the main Saladan strip, replete with scrub top, stethoscope and donation box...... I was soaked within about 30 seconds.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur - possibly due to the water getting in my eyes, although the local Chang beer may have had a little to do with it. I made my flight to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia the next day, however, with only the slightest of sore heads.
